The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
