I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
