I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
