I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
