2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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