Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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