i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
