College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
