You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
