You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize