I think my fart just growled at me.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
