Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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