i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
