I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
