my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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