All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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