You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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