i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
