but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
