You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
