so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
