Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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