We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
