im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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