Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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