69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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