i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
