oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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