well I can't set my house on fire every night
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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