it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
