Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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