I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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