Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
