I bet he comes in French.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
