I wanna passion pit in your ass
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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