she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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