quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
