do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
we're so committed to being not committed
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
