It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
