The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize