State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
