oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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