Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
stop calling my apartment porn island.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize