Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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