at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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