This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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