You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
