My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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