Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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