Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You made out with two different species that night
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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