If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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