i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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