Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
