I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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