No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
