If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
