Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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