hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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