I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
