The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
